An open letter from Madison Avenue

October 7, 2009

Dear America,

We, the advertising houses of New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles think you’re stupid.  We advertisers are not willing to give you enough credit to realize mannequins don’t talk.  We expect you to believe people actually dress as hamburgers and talk about being broiled.

Furthermore, we  expect you to think that all men are incompetent jocks who can never say or do the right thing, and therefore, must be corrected by their wives, who have never done anything wrong in their lives.  The wives , however, along with the husbands MUST be outsmarted by their bratty, know-it -all, overly fashion centered kids..

As long as you dump your hard-earned money on our products, we’ll keep treating you like idiots with our advertising campaign.  We hope you never wise up and realize that we are treating you like you’re stupid.  Because if you do realize this, we’ll actually have to start trying to be clever and intelligent, and we’re just too damn lazy to do that.

Yours insincerely,

The advertising agencies of America


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